I Changed My Mind...

I initially started writing about how this was never apart of my plan - the journal, this devotional; it simply wasn’t...but I guess I will share that another time. I decided to write about how I feel right now (Sunday night, well technically its Monday morning @ 12:50am) and I’m sure I won’t adequately be able to put into words how I feel because I don’t really know how I feel.

Lauryn and I went to Washington, DC last week - I went to get my hair colored and cut (my form of self-care) Side note: I’m learning that I don’t have to explain why I do things that bring me joy or make me happy and neither do you - but just so you know why in the entire world we would fly to DC just a few days after such unbelievable events occurred at our nation’s capital. It was a great quick trip, my hair turned out fabulous (thanks Ashleigh), Lauryn and I did a little site-seeing, we ate amazing food, all while feeling completely safe because the National Guard was posted on every block. It was exactly what we needed, a quick getaway from Atlanta.

But I’ve been dealing with a “thing” that’s been bothering me for almost two weeks now. I know it’s bothering me because my left side lower back/hip area is in so much pain (this is where I tend to hold stress). One would think I would be use to this “thing” by now because this “thing” has happened several times over - but I guess I’ll never really get use to it. It’s not always the same exact thing, yet it very much so is. It use to knock me completely off my feet when it first started to rear it’s ugly head; today it doesn’t necessarily knock me off my feet - though it does cause me to stumble a bit.

During these times when I find myself stumbling:

• I cry (not as much as I use to - thank the Lord);

• I call the two people that God has strategically placed in my life to walk with me through this season: my sister Michelle so she can give me those Godly truths like only she can that I can hold onto; and my friend Tamica so she can talk me off the ledge with her practical wisdom that only she possesses (they both usually say the same things but in different ways, and now you know why Michelle and Tamica write their respective portions of this devotional);

• I write about it;

• I pray, though sometimes not as much as I should (just being honest here) because I don’t even have the words to say (thank God, He already knows).

And I’m also trying to learn how to sit in those moments of this “thing” - it’s completely uncomfortable but I have to sit in them, feel them, identify them, so I can peacefully move through this and get back on track.

But dang, is me being “off track” really a part of God’s Perfect Plan for my life????? Even though I don’t see it and it certainly doesn’t feel like it is - God always shows me, YES girl, even being “off track”, even that “thing” was all apart of His Plan for my life. And how do I know this? Because He’s going to use it for MY GOOD! That’s the promise that I carry with me always, and it’s a promise that you too can always keep tucked in your heart. When you have days like I’m having; when those situation and circumstance “things” of life try its best to knock you down; that even those “things” will be used for YOUR GOOD because NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING is wasted with God...and tomorrow is a brand new day.

Now I don’t know how this ties into this week’s scripture, but just know...this little note was apart of His Plan not mine.

PS...Did you see that picture of my hair? It’s cute right?!?! That puts a smile on my face. So no matter what’s going on, find something that makes you smile today.

UPDATE…It’s Wednesday, I’m feeling better! We experienced history today with the swearing in of President Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris…that stress pain in my left lower back/hip area has eased up, and I’m peacefully moving through that “thing”.

God is good at being God!