Do the Work: Who do You Love?

This week has been hard for me. My closest friends know that I am an emotional self-healer (let me unpack that). As we talked about last week, God is Love. He is my EVERYTHING. I rely on Him more than anything or anyone in this world, so don't get me wrong when I say "I" am a self healer. I know where my help comes from. But God has gifted me with the ability to place things in a very clear perspective, work through them accordingly, then release it. Most things, especially emotional junk, do not stay with me for long. With that said, this week was different. Sisters, I had some emotional junk that when I tell you tried me this week....whew Lord! Like my sister Michelle said, "Sometimes, you just have to stop and give God a THANK YOU praise".

It was holding on, swirling around in my head. It had me asking the same questions to myself over and over again (you know how we do that). I was pissed! "What is this?" I kept asking myself. Sisters, have you ever found yourself stuck on something that you feel you should have been able to let go of? Have you wondered why you couldn't? Here is where we do the work. Our scripture this week tells us this about love, “It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” 1 Corinthians 13:5 (New International Version). Let's dive in deeper to the meaning of this verse:

1."It Keeps No Record of WRONGS" - Sisters, don't keep score (mine was filled!) What happens when you keep score? It causes you to continuously keep your eye on the game! That's the swirling around in your head part. In 2 Timothy 1:7, the scripture tells us that the Lord wants you to have the spirit of power, love and a sound mind. It is impossible to do this if you're keeping a mental record of the wrongs that have been inflicted on you, and more so, what you're going to do to even the score. Dedicate a few pages in your journal for "emotional junk", identify those things, write them down. and fold the page so that you don't see it when you open your journal. When the page is full or has reach a point you're comfortable with, staple/tape it closed and say, "Lord, I am leaving this emotional junk right here on this page. It will not disturb my sound mind anymore."

2. "It Does Not Dishonor Others, - Accept it - Yes, someone messed up! It may have been you. Either way, honor it with love. This person, this thing, is or was in your life for a reason. You see it every time you open your journal, "God's Plan is Perfect." You must know that this too was part of the plan. Don't dishonor it by continuously asking why. Tell yourself, "This is His Plan in action."

3. It is NOT Self-Seeking - Love does not insist on its own way. Yield to It. Part of my situation was I wanted a "do over." Oftentimes, we allow things to consume us because we play it over in our minds a thousand times with those woulda, shoulda, coulda scenarios. That is self-mental battery! It is non productive because you know you can't change what has already taken place. When you are in this place, this is a good time for a breathable moment. Sit, close your eyes, and focus on the goodness in your life. Tell yourself, "I trust you. I trust God's plan. Everything does not have to go my way." Start writing down some things you are grateful for. That always makes you feel better both mentally and physically.

4. Love is Not Easily Angered. Recognize your role - My son has a t-shirt that says, "You Mad Bruh?" I love that t-shirt! Why? because it reminds me to check my attitude. Be ready to slow it down. In any situation, make it a habit to ask yourself what role you played in the situation. This has to be the most integral part of the work. Ladies, you know we can justify some stuff, lol! Consider this: Mike Tyson, Evander Holyfield and Floyd Merriweather. Each one steps into their match with NO opponent. They are swinging and punching and giving it all they've got. They are all in. Here's the question...would they be the heavyweight champions you know today if they were in the ring by themselves? Of course not. You wouldn't even know their names. Now put an opponent in the ring and now you have a fight! Even if you feel like you lost the fight, YOU WERE THERE. In your journal, think about your role and give it a title (i.e, peacemaker, starter, instigator, liar). It will be easier to release. Most of all, consider everyone in the ring. Don't assume they know what you think they know. If any of these fighter's opponents knew exactly what the other knew, you wouldn't know their names.

I realized that my gift was not working for me because I removed LOVE! I kept score. I dishonored my better judgment and forgot about ,"God's Plan." I did not yield to the situation, I wanted it my way, and because of this, I stayed angry. But most of all, I did not name and acknowledge my opponent - PAIN. Paul explains to Timothy knowing that he would have to continue the work that he had to keep these things in mind or the work would be useless. He knew that Love being the greatest gift of all had to be present in order for the work to get done. The title question above asked, "Who do you love?" Love yourself more than keeping score, more than dishonor, more than it being your way, more than the anger.